When 25 years of professional experience meets a Neurodivergent brain.

For two and a half decades, I’ve worked in complex environments supporting people, shaping practice, and helping others understand behaviour, learning, and wellbeing. My work is informed by lived experience, professional training, and years of supporting neurodivergent individuals, families, and organisations.

And yet last week, I forgot to apply that same understanding to myself.

After nine years in a role I loved, I transitioned out. I expected disruption — but not the level of Executive Function Shutdown that followed.

7 nights of 2–3 hours of sleep

Constant physical shakiness

A nervous system stuck in survival mode

Despite everything I know about neurodivergence, I slipped into self‑criticism. I told myself to “just push through.” I questioned why I was reacting so strongly.

Here’s the truth I momentarily lost sight of — one I teach often:

For many neurodivergent professionals, a long‑term role isn’t just employment. It becomes an anchor point — the scaffolding that supports regulation, predictability, and processing.

When that scaffolding is removed, the brain doesn’t register it as “change.”

It registers it as unsafe.

Research into nervous system dysregulation shows that major transitions create a significant physiological load. My brain wasn’t failing; it was working overtime to rebuild stability.

A fellow neurodivergent colleague reflected back what I already know:

 “Of course this is hitting you hard. This is huge. Be kinder to yourself.”

The leadership insight — and the reminder I needed:

 You can be deeply experienced, highly capable, and still forget to apply your own frameworks inward.

Self‑kindness isn’t a luxury.

For neurodivergent professionals, it’s a neurological requirement.

If you’re navigating a transition and feel like you’re “failing,” you’re not. Your brain is responding to the loss of structure it relied on.

Lower the bar. Breathe. Rebuild your scaffolding gently.

Because grit is useful — but it’s no substitute for a regulated nervous system.

Woman with white, blonde hair, smiling, holding a colourful cup, with colourfully painted fingernails and a colourful painting by Emma Darrouzet.